Not pregnant, not drinking

Back in November, just as most sensible people were gearing up for the Christmas onslaught of office parties, lunchtime mulled wine, and endless oh-go-on-then prosecco, I decided to stop drinking. I did 30 completely dry days to start with. Then gave myself a bit of leeway for a couple of parties and work events, but… Continue reading Not pregnant, not drinking

2017: The year I learnt to fail

There’s a meme that surfaces on social media in January: I can’t believe it’s been an entire year since I didn’t become a better person. Well, the new year is almost here and I can’t believe it’s been an entire year since I didn’t become a mother. Last January was, ironically, the first January in… Continue reading 2017: The year I learnt to fail

Hey jealousy: The unbearable envy that comes with miscarriage

'Clear your diaries, get the time booked off... I’m not sure how much news this really is, but anyway, it’s April.’ With these wry words the BBC’s Simon McCoy announced the due date of the Duchess of Cambridge’s third child. April. I took a deep breath. Why did it have to be April? My baby was supposed… Continue reading Hey jealousy: The unbearable envy that comes with miscarriage

A few words: What to say and do when someone you know has a miscarriage

What to say when someone has a miscarriage

Words matter. Words can hurt, but they can also heal. Back in August, the brilliant people at The Miscarriage Association launched an equally brilliant campaign on what to say when someone you know has a miscarriage. Everyone’s different, of course, but based on real-life experiences they’ve put together a list of what’s helpful to hear… Continue reading A few words: What to say and do when someone you know has a miscarriage

The box under the bed: making miscarriage visible

The problem with miscarriage is that as well as being silent – i.e. no one really talks about it – it’s also invisible. Often there’s been no pregnancy announcement, there was no visible bump, no scan pictures, no ‘gender reveal’; no evidence at all, in fact, that there ever was a baby. And it’s hard… Continue reading The box under the bed: making miscarriage visible

Life starts all over again: On getting back to normal after miscarriage

I realise most people got over that beginning of autumn/new term feeling about a month ago, but due to two weeks of post-ERPC hibernation followed by an actual holiday in the sun I'm a bit behind. Last week was 'back to school' for me. Back in the office, back in the gym and, well, back… Continue reading Life starts all over again: On getting back to normal after miscarriage

All the messy feelings about running in pregnancy… and after miscarriage

Jennie Agg Uterus Monologues blog runner

I'm not pregnant, as you know. And we've decided not to try again until we've been seen at the recurrent miscarriage clinic. This is a bit of a departure from the previous losses. For me the need to be pregnant after my first two miscarriages was over-whelming; all-consuming. I just felt hollow. Literally gutted. And… Continue reading All the messy feelings about running in pregnancy… and after miscarriage

When it comes in threes: A ‘missed’ miscarriage

I’ve had another miscarriage. And that makes three, folks! Here’s the thing no one ever tells you about miscarriages. Sometimes it just happens without you noticing. It’s not like what you might imagine, or occasionally see on TV. There’s no sudden burst of pain, no dramatic gush of blood (although it can happen that way,… Continue reading When it comes in threes: A ‘missed’ miscarriage

Body fat composition . . . Foie gras

I thought I’d write about something that I’ve not seen given much airtime – even in pieces about pregnancy loss – and that’s body image after miscarriage. Perhaps it’s simply too shallow for words, and that’s why it’s not really mentioned, but it’s definitely been a thing for me, and if that makes me shallow,… Continue reading Body fat composition . . . Foie gras

It doesn’t just go away

Today's lesson in Miscarriage 101: It doesn't just go away. What I mean by this is it's not as simple as one day you're pregnant, the next day you're not. Both physically and psychologically it’s messier than that. When I had my first miscarriage there was a line from an old episode of Sex and… Continue reading It doesn’t just go away