And so another infant and pregnancy loss awareness week/month comes and goes. This was my sixth one now as someone all too ‘aware’. This year, I felt increasingly disconnected from it all. Not least because I was away on a busy trip for the annual wave of light – the lighting of candles in memory […]
It was my birthday this week. Dan surprised me with a trip away – staying in a hotel in Marbella old town that we’ve been to before and loved. The last time we were there was five years ago, just after my third miscarriage. Which made me realise that it’s also now been five years […]
This is just a short note ahead of Mother’s Day to say that whatever you’re feeling this year, it really is OK. Most of all, whether you’ll be enduring social obligations through gritted teeth, pretending the day doesn’t exist, or joining in and celebrating at long last, please don’t feel guilty. When I asked people […]
In the days after my son was born, I would catch myself gazing around our house in wonder. Cards covered every surface, flowers spilled out of every vase we owned, while stacks of gifted baby clothes sat waiting to be put away. After four years of trying for a baby and four miscarriages we had […]
It seems a bit mad that my – * checks notes * – third proper post since Edward was born is about the question of having another child, but I think the single most surprising thing for me about having a baby has been how quickly people ask when you’re going to do it all over again. […]
Since Edward was born, I find myself thinking in ways I promised myself I never would. It started with: Slow down. Stop growing! (Words that used to pierce like flint before, when I’d see other mums write them on social media, never for a second considering what it’s like when your baby does literally stop growing). Now, […]
The Uterus Monologues: Miscarriage, motherhood and me 