Since Edward was born, I find myself thinking in ways I promised myself I never would. It started with: Slow down. Stop growing! (Words that used to pierce like flint before, when I’d see other mums write them on social media, never for a second considering what it’s like when your baby does literally stop growing). Now, […]
Recent Posts
Birth after loss
Well, hello. That ended up being a longer break than I expected. Our rainbow baby boy turned six months old last week so an update is well overdue. We’re all doing OK, despite what feels like daily batterings from the UK government and its response to covid-19. We’ve been locked down or under the strictest […]
The trouble with Christmas songs
We are both crying so hard I start to think we might have to pull the car over. It is Christmas Eve 2018 and we’re driving to my mum’s. It’s been six months since my fourth miscarriage. To brighten up our 40-mile pilgrimage up the A1(M), we’ve had bakery coffee, cinnamon buns, and Dan’s annual […]
A birthday
Just a short note to introduce you to Edward, our son, who arrived last week – all of a sudden and at long last. He is truly the brightest of rainbows after a storm. Born during a global pandemic, conceived when hope was fading, after four miscarriages and their attendant grief, which had settled over […]
Any day now
Will this be the week I give birth? Could it be tomorrow or later today, even? One way or the other, it will be this month, at least. Somehow, I still can’t wrap my head around the idea. My mum messaged me the other day, checking in, and said how this time last year I […]
Can miscarriage be prevented?
A brief life update, as I haven’t blogged for a while – I’m now 38 weeks pregnant. Officially at term and trying to get my head around it being OK for this pregnancy to end (soon!) after so many weeks of willing our little one to stay safe inside just that bit longer…. I thought […]
Guest monologue: A letter to my friends with children
A guest post by Rebecca To my friends, This letter is difficult to write, and largely I am writing it because I have spent so long not being honest – either with you or myself. I am writing it with this aim of honesty, rather than with any specific purpose to mend, heal or change […]
Guest monologue: ‘Your only chance is egg donation’
A guest post by anonymous I’ve always thought my life would involve a house, husband, children, maybe a dog, and the occasional holiday. This is not much to ask for, right? Just simple things, I thought. I never envisaged the rollercoaster of events and emotions that would be my reality. My now husband and I […]
Guest monologue: Lessons from loss
A guest post by Bine @binemeadows A global pandemic – what a crazy yet eerily quiet and slow world we have found ourselves in. Whilst some of us are fighting death and risking their own lives on the ‘front line’, many of us are in lockdown at home. As much as my three miscarriages over the past one […]