Just a short note to introduce you to Edward, our son, who arrived last week – all of a sudden and at long last. He is truly the brightest of rainbows after a storm. Born during a global pandemic, conceived when hope was fading, after four miscarriages and their attendant grief, which had settled over […]
Tag: baby loss
Guest monologue: A letter to my friends with children
A guest post by Rebecca To my friends, This letter is difficult to write, and largely I am writing it because I have spent so long not being honest – either with you or myself. I am writing it with this aim of honesty, rather than with any specific purpose to mend, heal or change […]
Guest monologue: ‘Your only chance is egg donation’
A guest post by anonymous I’ve always thought my life would involve a house, husband, children, maybe a dog, and the occasional holiday. This is not much to ask for, right? Just simple things, I thought. I never envisaged the rollercoaster of events and emotions that would be my reality. My now husband and I […]
Guest monologue: I’d never heard of a ‘missed’ miscarriage…until it happened to me
A guest post by Abigail Heyworth, @abigailguernsey I’ve suffered three miscarriages – and I have travelled from blissful ignorance to constant anxiety, through bouts of depression and complete disillusionment about this so-called ‘journey’ to motherhood. My first two miscarriages were ‘silent’ or ‘missed’ miscarriages. Now this is a term I’d never heard of… until it happened […]
COVID-19: Some fears and some facts
It’s difficult to know what to write at times like these. My anxiety that something will go wrong with this pregnancy (our fifth) reached new heights this week. It’s been surreal feeling my nebulous, shapeless worries harden into concrete, very real fears in the face of the COVID-19 pandemic. Will I still be able to have […]
Guest monologue: Whatever you say, please don’t say ‘at least’
A guest post by Isla, @izzymatt ‘At least…..’ ‘At least’ is a phrase I’ve heard so often in our journey through secondary infertility and, in truth, I imagine it’s probably the most used phrase tossed towards anyone who has suffered through loss. It’s so terribly British. Our stiff upper lip sensibilities draw us immediately to […]
Pregnant again: What I did (and didn’t do) differently
Let’s get something out of the way first, as I appreciate the post heading here is rather click-bait-y, this isn’t going to be a post that offers easy answers. Yes, I’m pregnant again, and, yes, we’ve made it to 22 weeks so far (and counting…every agonising day and tremulous kick). But there’s been no ‘a-ha!’ […]
Guest monologue: I wish I could be friends with my womb, but I’m not
A guest post by Katie @withoutottilie Me and my womb aren’t exactly the best of friends. I love being a woman. And yet the one physical organ that defines my womanhood, has caused me nothing but pain. Our difficult relationship started on 28th February 1989, my Mum’s birthday, when I was 11. I knew about periods because […]
On disappointment
Sometimes I wonder if everything that’s happened has changed my personality in some fundamental way. In particular, I’ve noticed that my reflex these days is to expect things to go wrong. Not just pregnancy related stuff, but all my stuff: work, home, life admin. All and any of my carefully laid plans. I will get […]