The negatives of positive thinking

Stay positive. Just relax. Don’t stress. How often do you hear these things in relation to pregnancy or trying to conceive? I know they’re words well meant. But, actually, I find this always-look-on-brightside philosophy supremely unhelpful when it’s foisted upon me. In fact, nothing is guaranteed to fill me with more rage and general ill… Continue reading The negatives of positive thinking

The finish line

Jennie, The Uterus Monologues, LLHM, half marathon, Tommy's fundraising

And just like that, the due date for pregnancy number three has passed. In my head this was a big milestone. That somehow once it was behind us it would feel like freedom. Release. A neat conclusion to this over-long, unhappy chapter. The end. Fin. But, of course, there is no finish line to this… Continue reading The finish line

Your life is here, now

Just a quick one this week. A thought for the day, if you like. I’ve spent most of the weekend curled up with the journalist Dolly Alderton’s book Everything I Know About Love. I inhaled it, drinking in every word, pausing only for more tea and another round of toast. It’s a memoir, and it… Continue reading Your life is here, now

Bad days

Last week was a bad week. Not so much the blues as the mean reds, as Holly Golightly has it. Suddenly you’re afraid and you don’t know what you’re afraid of. The 14th marked a whole year since our first miscarriage. And while I’m feeling a bit brighter now, I thought I would take the opportunity… Continue reading Bad days

Not pregnant, not drinking

Back in November, just as most sensible people were gearing up for the Christmas onslaught of office parties, lunchtime mulled wine, and endless oh-go-on-then prosecco, I decided to stop drinking. I did 30 completely dry days to start with. Then gave myself a bit of leeway for a couple of parties and work events, but… Continue reading Not pregnant, not drinking

2017: The year I learnt to fail

There’s a meme that surfaces on social media in January: I can’t believe it’s been an entire year since I didn’t become a better person. Well, the new year is almost here and I can’t believe it’s been an entire year since I didn’t become a mother. Last January was, ironically, the first January in… Continue reading 2017: The year I learnt to fail

Book review: Trying by Emily Phillips

A few pages into Trying, I had to close it and put it down. Not because it wasn’t good. It is. Really good, in fact. But it was painful, too. The flashes of recognition hit me with a force that was almost like being winded. I needed a second to catch my breath. As you… Continue reading Book review: Trying by Emily Phillips

Testing times: How our recurrent miscarriage investigations are going

As some of you who follow me on Instagram will know, we had our first appointment at the recurrent miscarriage clinic a few weeks ago. And while it’s a bit of a blogger cliché to say ‘a lot of you have been asking: blah blah’, a few of you have been asking how it went. (Thank… Continue reading Testing times: How our recurrent miscarriage investigations are going

Everything I think I know about motherhood, thanks to my own trailblazing mum

Today is my mum’s birthday. So this is a little note for her. But you should read it too. Everything I think I know about motherhood comes my own brilliant mum. If I do ever get to follow in her footsteps, it is a pretty dazzling trail she has blazed for me. She is not… Continue reading Everything I think I know about motherhood, thanks to my own trailblazing mum

Hey jealousy: The unbearable envy that comes with miscarriage

'Clear your diaries, get the time booked off... I’m not sure how much news this really is, but anyway, it’s April.’ With these wry words the BBC’s Simon McCoy announced the due date of the Duchess of Cambridge’s third child. April. I took a deep breath. Why did it have to be April? My baby was supposed… Continue reading Hey jealousy: The unbearable envy that comes with miscarriage