We are both crying so hard I start to think we might have to pull the car over. It is Christmas Eve 2018 and we’re driving to my mum’s. It’s been six months since my fourth miscarriage. To brighten up our 40-mile pilgrimage up the A1(M), we’ve had bakery coffee, cinnamon buns, and Dan’s annual […]
Just a short note to introduce you to Edward, our son, who arrived last week – all of a sudden and at long last. He is truly the brightest of rainbows after a storm. Born during a global pandemic, conceived when hope was fading, after four miscarriages and their attendant grief, which had settled over […]
Will this be the week I give birth? Could it be tomorrow or later today, even? One way or the other, it will be this month, at least. Somehow, I still can’t wrap my head around the idea. My mum messaged me the other day, checking in, and said how this time last year I […]
A brief life update, as I haven’t blogged for a while – I’m now 38 weeks pregnant. Officially at term and trying to get my head around it being OK for this pregnancy to end (soon!) after so many weeks of willing our little one to stay safe inside just that bit longer…. I thought […]
Here is a sentence I almost daren’t write: In less than three months’ time, I will have a baby. My official due date is no longer a vague point on a hazy horizon but galloping into sharp focus. Not that you’d guess as much, were you to ask us how the preparations are going. Dan […]
It’s difficult to know what to write at times like these. My anxiety that something will go wrong with this pregnancy (our fifth) reached new heights this week. It’s been surreal feeling my nebulous, shapeless worries harden into concrete, very real fears in the face of the COVID-19 pandemic. Will I still be able to have […]
If you’re still reeling from this weekend – it was Mothering Sunday here in the UK – please know you’re not alone. In the past I’ve under-estimated not only how hard days like this can hit you, but how long it can take to recover your equilibrium afterwards. You’re not being ‘weak’ or ‘pathetic’ (or […]
When this post from a reader landed in my inbox this week, it could not have been better timed…It said so many things I have been thinking and feeling, but haven’t been able to process properly yet. As you probably know by now, I am pregnant for a fifth time (you can read more about […]
A guest post by Cerys I had my first miscarriage in November 2017. An early private scan, just because we’re naturally cautious, showed at seven weeks that we had an embryo measuring just five. Going private (as the NHS won’t scan that early without specific reasons) made the experience so much worse: we didn’t know […]
