The day after my first miscarriage, I sat in a shopping centre Costa with my mum, who urged me to email my boss asking for time off. It was a Sunday and because I hadn’t really known what else to do, we’d come to the shops. The excuse was I needed a new winter coat, […]
We are both crying so hard I start to think we might have to pull the car over. It is Christmas Eve 2018 and we’re driving to my mum’s. It’s been six months since my fourth miscarriage. To brighten up our 40-mile pilgrimage up the A1(M), we’ve had bakery coffee, cinnamon buns, and Dan’s annual […]
A brief life update, as I haven’t blogged for a while – I’m now 38 weeks pregnant. Officially at term and trying to get my head around it being OK for this pregnancy to end (soon!) after so many weeks of willing our little one to stay safe inside just that bit longer…. I thought […]
A guest post by Rebecca To my friends, This letter is difficult to write, and largely I am writing it because I have spent so long not being honest – either with you or myself. I am writing it with this aim of honesty, rather than with any specific purpose to mend, heal or change […]
A guest post by anonymous I’ve always thought my life would involve a house, husband, children, maybe a dog, and the occasional holiday. This is not much to ask for, right? Just simple things, I thought. I never envisaged the rollercoaster of events and emotions that would be my reality. My now husband and I […]
A guest post by Abigail Heyworth, @abigailguernsey I’ve suffered three miscarriages – and I have travelled from blissful ignorance to constant anxiety, through bouts of depression and complete disillusionment about this so-called ‘journey’ to motherhood. My first two miscarriages were ‘silent’ or ‘missed’ miscarriages. Now this is a term I’d never heard of… until it happened […]
It’s difficult to know what to write at times like these. My anxiety that something will go wrong with this pregnancy (our fifth) reached new heights this week. It’s been surreal feeling my nebulous, shapeless worries harden into concrete, very real fears in the face of the COVID-19 pandemic. Will I still be able to have […]
If you’re still reeling from this weekend – it was Mothering Sunday here in the UK – please know you’re not alone. In the past I’ve under-estimated not only how hard days like this can hit you, but how long it can take to recover your equilibrium afterwards. You’re not being ‘weak’ or ‘pathetic’ (or […]
When this post from a reader landed in my inbox this week, it could not have been better timed…It said so many things I have been thinking and feeling, but haven’t been able to process properly yet. As you probably know by now, I am pregnant for a fifth time (you can read more about […]
The Uterus Monologues: Miscarriage, motherhood and me 