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The Uterus Monologues: Miscarriage, motherhood and me

The Uterus Monologues: Miscarriage, motherhood and me

Life after recurrent miscarriage

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Tag: trying again

Jennie, The Uterus Monologues, LLHM, half marathon, Tommy's fundraising
April 11, 2018April 10, 2018Jennie

The finish line

And just like that, the due date for pregnancy number three has passed. In my head this was a big milestone. That somehow once it was behind us it would feel like freedom. Release. A neat conclusion to this over-long, unhappy chapter. The end. Fin. But, of course, there is no finish line to this […]

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February 19, 2018March 20, 2018Jennie

No news is good news

‘I’ll say this straight away,’ the consultant says as he pushes opens the door to his office. ‘I’m not going to tell you anything bad. It’s not bad news. ‘All the tests results came back negative. We didn’t find anything. And that’s good. I’ll quickly explain why.’ He starts rattling through all the different clotting […]

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Say hello on Instagram...

It. Is. Happening. We’re moving house....on Friday(!) The wait is over. The legal stuff is finally done, the movers are booked, and packing starts today. A new home. A new part of the country. And a long-awaited fresh start. (Plus we’ll finally be able to put up our Christmas tree like the rest of Instagram...🎄)
So I’ve been hibernating for a few weeks now. Here’s why: We’ve been trying to move house (as well as, you know, trying-trying) and it’s been tough. I’ve had no room in my head for much else, let alone an upbeat - or even mildly diverting - Instagram post. For about six weeks we’ve been living on tenterhooks, being told we’d exchange contracts soon: everyday, we seemed to get told ‘tomorrow’. Moving is always a stressful situation, but I think the reason I’ve found it so very hard is because that state of arrested development, the cycle of waiting, hoping and disappointment, is so redolent of trying to conceive, pregnancy after loss and miscarriage. It really threw me off my rhythm. And I started to feel like all the hard work we’ve done over the last year to reclaim some agency over our lives was being undone, piece by piece. That’s my cod psycho-analysis anyway, and I’m sticking to it. The good news is there is light at the end of the tunnel...and because of that you have to endure my long-winded captions and cat-spam once more (this ☝️ is Saga, queen of naps). Now tell me your news, please... . . . #lifeafterbabyloss #recurrentmiscarriage #lifeafterloss #ttcafterloss #miscarriagesupport #hibernationmode #ttccommunity
Struggling to get my head around Monday-ing, after a luxuriously lazy autumnal weekend. We didn’t do much other than brunch, a couple of walks and watching The Witches on Sunday afternoon. So to give the illusion of productivity on my part today, I’m going to nudge you in the direction of last week’s guest post, in case you missed it, by @a_tale_of_three_duckies about how it feels to lose a triplet pregnancy. (Link in bio). . . . . #lifeafterloss #stillswithstories #recurrentmiscarriage #babyloss #latemiscarriage #secondtrimesterloss #stillbornstillloved #tommysmumsvoiceaward #miscarriageblog #vilomah #theuterusmonologues
I don’t have a pumpkin. I don’t have a costume. But I do have a new blog post, about keeping the demons away when you’re post-miscarriage and/or trying to conceive and nothing’s really happening. I called it ‘defence against the dark arts’ and it’s the best of my meandering wisdom on ‘survival’ tactics. (Link in bio) Happy Hallowe’en everyone. 🎃👻 🧙‍♂️ . . . . . #miscarriagesupport #fertilityweek #recurrentmiscarriage #ttccommunity #ttcafterloss #defenceagainstthedarkarts #pregnancyloss #maternalmentalhealthmatters #lifeafterloss #womenwhowrite #miscarriageblog #theuterusmonologues
Can we talk about ‘not this month, then’ shopping? By which I mean, the ‘f*ck it’ purchases you bribe yourself with each month when your period arrives/ you test negative? (Or the IVF equivalent). These shoes were this month’s treat. Before that, it was an over-priced yoga top. I try to have something picked out in advance, which if nothing else serves as a good two-week wait distraction. . My rule is that it should be something I wouldn’t otherwise buy myself. Something a bit frivolous. A bit indulgent. (Although it doesn’t have to be expensive - some lean freelance months it’s been a bottle of wine that’s £1 more than I usually like to spend 👌) Bonus points if it’s something I wouldn’t get the use out of if I was pregnant. I know it’s shallow, but it sort of helps. Does anyone else do this? . I’m actually mid-writing a blog post on ‘survival’ tactics, and I’d love to know yours.... . . . #fertilityweek #wednesdaywewear #ttcaftermiscarriage #recurrentmiscarriage #bigfatnegative #babyloss #miscarriageblog #ttcsisters #ttcafterloss #letstalkfertility #fromwhereistand #theuterusmonologues #leopardisaneutral
After the last couple of weeks, I figured we could all use a bit of a laugh - and so I’ve chosen this week’s #babyloss book recommendation accordingly. Trying by Emily Phillips is a novel that takes the unlikely material of trying (and failing) to conceive and spins it into comic relief. You could even call it chick-lit, in the finest tradition of Marian Keyes and Mhairi McFarlane. I loved it. For me, this book solves a reading dilemma I’ve had a few times over the last couple of years - you want some escapism, some fun, some froth, but at the same time, when you’re in the thick of trying, failing, losing, the stories that would normally provide that sort of relief for you can feel unbearably trivial and alien. This, by contrast, is fun and funny but also manages to squeeze in infertility, IVF, miscarriage, the adoption process, post-natal depression and the worst excesses of Insta-parenting. I really recommend it if you want something that’s not too heavy but that still feels relevant; speaking to what you’re going through - the things you can’t stop thinking about, even if you wanted to. I first read it almost two years ago - and I actually reviewed it in full, on my blog back then (link in bio if you’re interested). Forgive me for repeating myself, but I figure there are *a few* more of you reading these days.... . . . . #babylossbookclub #ttc #ttcsisters #ttccommunity #ttcafterloss #trying #miscarriagesupport #infertilitysucks #recurrentmiscarriage #lifeafterloss #yournextread #theuterusmonologues

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