‘Congratulations!’ my friend whispers, before bear-hugging me and then Dan. We smile and say thank you, but immediately follow it up with: ‘But it’s still early so, you know…’ Of course she knows. We all know the ‘rules’, don’t we? Convention dictates that a pregnancy is not to be spoken of until the end of […]
Tag: ttc
Guest monologue: ‘My brain wants one thing, my body wants another’
By Steph (@crossing_everything) I thought my days of crying in work toilets were over. But a few months ago, when an unsolicited scan picture with the cheery caption ‘baby no.2 on the way!’ appeared on my phone, I was right back there. Silently crying in a soulless toilet cubicle, jealous of the simplicity of a […]
The Mother of all Days
This is just a short note ahead of Mother’s Day to say that whatever you’re feeling this year, it really is OK. Most of all, whether you’ll be enduring social obligations through gritted teeth, pretending the day doesn’t exist, or joining in and celebrating at long last, please don’t feel guilty. When I asked people […]
Guest monologue: The strength it takes to keep trying
A guest post by Victoria @vic_roud Exhausted. Feeling frazzled from trying to juggle everything – work, activities, appointments, planning and cooking healthy meals each day. Struggling with lack of sleep. All the picking up off the floor. Most mums will understand this fraught state of being; but I’m not a mum. This is ‘trying to […]
COVID-19: Some fears and some facts
It’s difficult to know what to write at times like these. My anxiety that something will go wrong with this pregnancy (our fifth) reached new heights this week. It’s been surreal feeling my nebulous, shapeless worries harden into concrete, very real fears in the face of the COVID-19 pandemic. Will I still be able to have […]
Guest monologue: Whatever you say, please don’t say ‘at least’
A guest post by Isla, @izzymatt ‘At least…..’ ‘At least’ is a phrase I’ve heard so often in our journey through secondary infertility and, in truth, I imagine it’s probably the most used phrase tossed towards anyone who has suffered through loss. It’s so terribly British. Our stiff upper lip sensibilities draw us immediately to […]
Guest monologue: I wish I could be friends with my womb, but I’m not
A guest post by Katie @withoutottilie Me and my womb aren’t exactly the best of friends. I love being a woman. And yet the one physical organ that defines my womanhood, has caused me nothing but pain. Our difficult relationship started on 28th February 1989, my Mum’s birthday, when I was 11. I knew about periods because […]
On disappointment
Sometimes I wonder if everything that’s happened has changed my personality in some fundamental way. In particular, I’ve noticed that my reflex these days is to expect things to go wrong. Not just pregnancy related stuff, but all my stuff: work, home, life admin. All and any of my carefully laid plans. I will get […]
Defence against the dark arts
The clocks have rolled back and they seem to have taken the easy optimism I’ve felt all summer with them. The middle chunk of this year has flown for me – one minute we were heading off on a spring holiday, the next it was baby loss awareness week again. But now the nights are […]