The negatives of positive thinking

Stay positive. Just relax. Don’t stress. How often do you hear these things in relation to pregnancy or trying to conceive? I know they’re words well meant. But, actually, I find this always-look-on-brightside philosophy supremely unhelpful when it’s foisted upon me. In fact, nothing is guaranteed to fill me with more rage and general ill… Continue reading The negatives of positive thinking

The finish line

Jennie, The Uterus Monologues, LLHM, half marathon, Tommy's fundraising

And just like that, the due date for pregnancy number three has passed. In my head this was a big milestone. That somehow once it was behind us it would feel like freedom. Release. A neat conclusion to this over-long, unhappy chapter. The end. Fin. But, of course, there is no finish line to this… Continue reading The finish line

Am I a mother?

Nowhere is the dividing line more sharply drawn between women than between mothers and non-mothers. It transcends almost everything. Class. Race. Sexuality. Wherever you’re coming from, so the conventional wisdom has it, there’s a unifier there. A shared conversation. You’re a mum, so you understand. Just wait until you have children, then you’ll get it.  It… Continue reading Am I a mother?

How to feel better after a miscarriage

I originally wrote this as a Guest List for Clemmie Telford's brilliant blog Mother Of All Lists. But I thought I really should share it on here, too. I wrote this in the fog of miscarriage number 3, signed off work, in a slightly frenetic mood trying to Do Something (anything) to feel normal again.… Continue reading How to feel better after a miscarriage

No news is good news

‘I’ll say this straight away,’ the consultant says as he pushes opens the door to his office. ‘I’m not going to tell you anything bad. It’s not bad news. ‘All the tests results came back negative. We didn’t find anything. And that’s good. I’ll quickly explain why.’ He starts rattling through all the different clotting… Continue reading No news is good news

Your life is here, now

Just a quick one this week. A thought for the day, if you like. I’ve spent most of the weekend curled up with the journalist Dolly Alderton’s book Everything I Know About Love. I inhaled it, drinking in every word, pausing only for more tea and another round of toast. It’s a memoir, and it… Continue reading Your life is here, now

2017: The year I learnt to fail

There’s a meme that surfaces on social media in January: I can’t believe it’s been an entire year since I didn’t become a better person. Well, the new year is almost here and I can’t believe it’s been an entire year since I didn’t become a mother. Last January was, ironically, the first January in… Continue reading 2017: The year I learnt to fail

Testing times: How our recurrent miscarriage investigations are going

As some of you who follow me on Instagram will know, we had our first appointment at the recurrent miscarriage clinic a few weeks ago. And while it’s a bit of a blogger cliché to say ‘a lot of you have been asking: blah blah’, a few of you have been asking how it went. (Thank… Continue reading Testing times: How our recurrent miscarriage investigations are going

Hey jealousy: The unbearable envy that comes with miscarriage

'Clear your diaries, get the time booked off... I’m not sure how much news this really is, but anyway, it’s April.’ With these wry words the BBC’s Simon McCoy announced the due date of the Duchess of Cambridge’s third child. April. I took a deep breath. Why did it have to be April? My baby was supposed… Continue reading Hey jealousy: The unbearable envy that comes with miscarriage

A few words: What to say and do when someone you know has a miscarriage

What to say when someone has a miscarriage

Words matter. Words can hurt, but they can also heal. Back in August, the brilliant people at The Miscarriage Association launched an equally brilliant campaign on what to say when someone you know has a miscarriage. Everyone’s different, of course, but based on real-life experiences they’ve put together a list of what’s helpful to hear… Continue reading A few words: What to say and do when someone you know has a miscarriage