The day after my first miscarriage, I sat in a shopping centre Costa with my mum, who urged me to email my boss asking for time off. It was a Sunday and because I hadn’t really known what else to do, we’d come to the shops. The excuse was I needed a new winter coat, […]
Since Edward was born, I find myself thinking in ways I promised myself I never would. It started with: Slow down. Stop growing! (Words that used to pierce like flint before, when I’d see other mums write them on social media, never for a second considering what it’s like when your baby does literally stop growing). Now, […]
A guest post by Bine @binemeadows A global pandemic – what a crazy yet eerily quiet and slow world we have found ourselves in. Whilst some of us are fighting death and risking their own lives on the ‘front line’, many of us are in lockdown at home. As much as my three miscarriages over the past one […]
A guest post by Isla, @izzymatt ‘At least…..’ ‘At least’ is a phrase I’ve heard so often in our journey through secondary infertility and, in truth, I imagine it’s probably the most used phrase tossed towards anyone who has suffered through loss. It’s so terribly British. Our stiff upper lip sensibilities draw us immediately to […]
As it’s Baby Loss Awareness Week, I’m going to be sharing a new guest post each day. Here is the first, by Hannah, about the significance of certain items of clothing after miscarriage… Ordinary things, like the clothes in our wardrobes can trigger so many memories. We’ve been taught that what we wear is important. You […]
A guest post by @Project_Babyu ‘Is it good news?’ My mother-in-law’s friend is smiling at me – and at my still swollen stomach. This is a common question in my community. From the moment a girl gets married, the next thing people will ask is whether a baby is on the way. Straightaway: ‘Any news?’ […]
I’ve got a piece in this month’s Red magazine about socialising – specifically, how to be sociable when you don’t feel like it. I’d pitched it after seeing one too many ‘I’m sorry I’m late, I didn’t want to come’ memes, thinking that it would be interesting to delve into why we’re all apparently so […]
Often when we describe pregnancy loss as a taboo, what we really mean, I think, isn’t so much that it’s completely unmentionable – or impossible to admit to – and more that we feel other people have no idea what our lives are like afterwards. That sense of feeling invisible and not properly understood can […]
All the leaflets they give you after a miscarriage or other kind of baby loss tend to tell you sympathetic but vague things. A soup of words such as ‘profound emotional impact’, ‘bereavement period’ and ‘time to recover’ swim and muddle themselves on the page, while you’re still trying to comprehend what has happened. Just […]
