All the messy feelings about running in pregnancy… and after miscarriage

Jennie Agg Uterus Monologues blog runner

I'm not pregnant, as you know. And we've decided not to try again until we've been seen at the recurrent miscarriage clinic. This is a bit of a departure from the previous losses. For me the need to be pregnant after my first two miscarriages was over-whelming; all-consuming. I just felt hollow. Literally gutted. And… Continue reading All the messy feelings about running in pregnancy… and after miscarriage

When it comes in threes: A ‘missed’ miscarriage

I’ve had another miscarriage. And that makes three, folks! Here’s the thing no one ever tells you about miscarriages. Sometimes it just happens without you noticing. It’s not like what you might imagine, or occasionally see on TV. There’s no sudden burst of pain, no dramatic gush of blood (although it can happen that way,… Continue reading When it comes in threes: A ‘missed’ miscarriage

Due date

Yesterday was our due date from the first pregnancy. Or it should have been. Like many women who miscarry, I’ve been dreading it. After we lost the baby in January, all I wanted (apart from to have not miscarried in the first place) was to be pregnant again by July 29. That, I thought, would… Continue reading Due date

Body fat composition . . . Foie gras

I thought I’d write about something that I’ve not seen given much airtime – even in pieces about pregnancy loss – and that’s body image after miscarriage. Perhaps it’s simply too shallow for words, and that’s why it’s not really mentioned, but it’s definitely been a thing for me, and if that makes me shallow,… Continue reading Body fat composition . . . Foie gras

It doesn’t just go away

Today's lesson in Miscarriage 101: It doesn't just go away. What I mean by this is it's not as simple as one day you're pregnant, the next day you're not. Both physically and psychologically it’s messier than that. When I had my first miscarriage there was a line from an old episode of Sex and… Continue reading It doesn’t just go away

The first miscarriage

As my husband Dan drives me to the hospital, the gripping pain in my abdomen intensifies. It comes in waves and instinctively I try to breathe through it — the way women in labour are supposed to. But when I realise what I’m doing, I start to cry. Because I am not having a baby,… Continue reading The first miscarriage

The versions of us

Somewhere out there in an alternative universe is a version of me who is 31 weeks pregnant. Swollen, and a bit hot in this weather, but, still, happy. She’s down to the last button on her maternity dungarees – she’s huge! – and the nursery is painted (dove grey, a cliché, but practical). The cot… Continue reading The versions of us